Quick Blurb

So, last week I fasted for three days, starting Sunday. I broke the fast on Wednesday. Since then, I've struggled to eat. But I think it is slowly getting better...in some ways. Still hard, but I'll make it through.

Tomorrow, Monday, is WAAAAAAY too busy to think about now. Tuesday will prove to be a challenge, and then Tuesday will (hopefully) end my misery. Tuesday I take my linguistics midterm. We - the class - are taking it early 'cause that is the day our professor flies out to Nepal for her conference. The following week, we will go back to class Tuesday to watch a video and are still expected to read one more chapter. (Ick!) But, once that is over, I only have one more final: ASL. Luckily, that is a morning final (10 am) on Tuesday morning, which means it won't interfere with work, though I am a bit nervous about that one, since it is a 3-part exam: receptive, expressive, and written.

Soon, I am going to go to a concert for a short bit, then I'll be back studying for Linguistics and practicing for ASL. I will record my VLOG for ASL tomorrow, just doing my best. I don't have time nor the energy to worry TOO much about it. I can only do what I can and hope for the best - i.e. passing marks.

Well, that is it about me in a nutshell for now. Take care all!

Time Slips By So Fast Sometimes

Disney Classics on VHS

I actually miss the VHS tape. There is something nostalgic about watching classic Disney movies with friends on the couch. We made fun of the movie, we found faults, we laughed and reminisced about our childhoods and what parts scared us or not, and we commented about various aspects/parts of the movie, etc. It was a fun night to just hang out and spend time with my gals. I wouldn’t have traded it for two more hours of sleep. It was a bit sad for me, for I feel I have lost that child-like wonder and simple pleasure of enjoying a movie and not knowing all of these things that we now bring up/out as adults. But alas, we all grow up and grow out of that. Didn’t ruin the evening for me, but I still appreciated the time I had with them.

What movie did we watch?’ you might ask. Well, we watched “Beauty and the Beast” in all it’s NON-digitally enhanced/remastered colorfulness.

Nights at Stephanie’s

So, I have some really cool roommates. Stephanie is probably one of my favorites, mainly ‘cause I feel I have connected with her and that I can share anything with her. The past several nights, or, I guess, throughout this past week, I have visited her to distress, for encouragement, and to just be in a quiet, calming and positive environment.

Anyways, she’s just an AMAZING friend, so say the least. One night, a while back, she came to my room and we just took some time to chat and “bond” as we were resting on my bed, and she was trying to encourage me and some of the funniest things came out of her mouth that got us both laughing. I jokingly told her we should have a “quote wall,” to which she objected and said that it would be filled with the many things she says…they are funny to me, and they often happen most at night….late at night. She told me one night when we were in her room that “We need to have one of these talks when it’s not late at night, that way I don’t say silly things to you.” We will be having a “date” in my room – my surprise to her – and we hope to also get together again so I can give her [another] massage. = ]
*** Note: I am SO thrilled I live in a house where several girls are open/accepting to the idea that I enjoy giving massages and actually want them. Not many have asked/received so far, but that is fine by me. Not only that, but I’m not looked [down] upon for my strange ways and love for natural remedies, etc. ***
In any case, tonight (Monday night,) I went to her room to just curl up on the end of her bed, like I did last night, and we ended up talking some. I saw a book on her bed (my guess for her human sexuality class,) that was entitled, “If we are what we eat, then I’m Fast, Cheap & Easy.” That reminded me of a similar quote I read in another book (“If we are what we eat, then I’m fast, easy, and cheap.) So I asked her, “So, you know the title of that book? (I indicated the book, and she nodded.) What would I be?” She looked at me puzzled. “I mean, how would you describe me? Based off of what I eat.”
“Oh….you’re healthy, colourful, and…..well….crunchy.”
“Crunchy?”
“Yeah. Well…..sweet. That’s what I mean.”
“Um…no. Crunchy (holds up right hand,)……sweet (holds up left hand.) They don’t quite say the same thing to me. They are not the same thing.”
We had a good laugh.

Work

Work is work is work. I don’t feel I’m getting any better, and my job/duty seems to be consistent, yet not so much. : / Not sure what to think. Actually, I’m feeling less competent as the weeks go by. Though….I did work a LOT for the paper this past month, having published near six articles and three photos – all of which I’ll be getting paid (yea income of some kind,) – and I enjoyed it along the way, growing and learning in the process of figuring things out. I’ll only have one for this next week (10 November – 16 November.) Not sure about the week following. Will meet with my editor on Tuesday about that.
The work that I do not, I just feel...awkward. I feel like I’m not doing anything productive. : / But I do get to see a good handful of people I know from around campus. I dunno, really, what to think at this point. My brain is so fried from linguistics and is reeling with ASL stuff….not to mention life, social life, spiritual well being, and so on and so forth.

Visiting Crystal

I found out way back in October that – through the kindness and generosity of my friends Stephanie and Kate – I get to go see one of my dear friends who live up in Hillsboro! I have not seen her in about two and a half months, and to get to see her brings me great joy. We tried in October to get together, but plans conflicted and it didn’t work out. However, God is good and He just arranged the WHOLE thing so beautifully so that we could meet up and hang out for a day. We will be seeing each other not this weekend (13^th) but the NEXT weekend (20^th.) I am SUPER excited and can’t wait to spend the day with her…just BEING there. That in and of itself is more than good enough for me and quite satisfactory. I get to give her my small little gifties and I get to just be there with her. = ) *that’s my warm smile* But…yeah. I can hardly wait and am already anxiously counting down the days……I actually also have a HUGE surprise for her that I can’t wait to show….I only hope and pray that she doesn’t figure it out either before or during me showing her. That, and I just want her to be surprised. Oh! As a plus: I get to meet her parents! : D

Linguistics

I’m so sick of linguistics. Too much terminology. Too many words to remember the meaning and concepts and other "fun" rules/forms of whathaveyou to remember. Thus: I am NOT a linguist, nor do I wish to become one. Too many rules and symbols to know and too many structures and phrasing and other formatting things to know. : /
Three words to describe that class (LING 210, WOU): too much terminology. Or [to] [mʌtʃ] [tʊrmɪnɑlɪgi]

Wednesday’s Blood Drive

I’ll try to keep this short since I could go into GREAT detail, but will try to give just the gist. I have told this story too many times, and I guess I’m just a bit tired of telling it again and again and again……I haven’t changed the story, but I have either added/dropped details or descriptions based on how I was feeling or the person, etc. It was not “fun” to tell, but kind of “fun” to tell of my experience and what went wrong and what theories were as to why it went wrong, then comparing that to past experiences.

In any case, to make a long story short, here is my blood donation story:
I went to go give blood for the fall blood drive at my school, and checked in just fine. I had already made an appointment online the week before, so it wasn’t too much of an issue for me to “get in.” I skimmed through the materials and got my number – 43.
Once I was called in to do the pre-test-thing, which went smoothly. That was nice and quick. My vitals were taken. My main concern was that my iron would be too low, since about a month or so ago I was “diagnosed” to be anemic. The required count/number for iron is 12.5 (I asked, hence, I know) and mine was what? 14.7. I was good. My blood pressure was 122/75 I think it was…still in the clear. Once this whole thing was done, I was lead to a table. The man was about to go on break, so he wasn’t going to be my phlebotomist, but he prepped me some. He complimented me and my veins and how good they are.
Once my phlebotomist arrived, she wiped/cleaned my arm with iodine and then taped on the tube She warned me of a short prick, and it wasn’t that bad, actually; short, sweet and not really that painful. It lasted but a moment, which was nice. I then squeezed a little football every four to five counts. Looking back, at times I think I squeezed it too fast for “too long” too many times. Towards the end, a DIFFERENT phlebotomist was watching me. She told me I was almost done. I felt great. Then, BAM! I got dizzy, and so I told her, and I don’t remember what she said, but I remember feeling fine, then (now knowing what happened) ended up seeing people/place(s) that shouldn’t have been there, but it was so relaxing and it seemed like a few minutes, though it was only for a short bit.
Next thing I remember I saw white with dark figures over me speaking. Wet, cold towels then were laid over my neck and forehead. I heard a ‘Did you have a nice dream?’ but I couldn’t respond. It took all mental effort to cognitively “come to,” as I was trying to remember where I was and what was going on. Yeah: I passed out. But it is more than likely due to the fact that I didn’t eat far enough before I came to the drive. Part of the trouble was that I had worked all that morning until “shortly” before the drive. I didn’t have much time to eat much at all.
I had a hard time recovering from my passing out and eventually had to call a friend to come and pick me up. They wouldn’t let me leave, though, without eating a package of Grandma’s cookies (oatmeal raisin,) I didn’t want the chocolate chip nor the Oreo. : ( I also had to drink a few little cans of orange juice. My friend was good and helped me out all the way and even sat with me a while, making sure I ate my cookies, though I wasn’t hungry and didn’t want to eat them. She even sang me a song she made up right then and there. It made me laugh, and I still [sort of] remember it, and it still makes me laugh. I am so blessed to have a friend like her.

Thursday

I was so off today. I didn’t know how my body would react, but with an easy ten hours of sleep from the night before, since I was SO exhausted and tired from everything that I went to bed at 7:20 ish (could have gone to bed earlier, but I had to do a BUNCH of email correspondence for my articles and classes and so on.)
Overall, aside from the fact that I wasn’t ever too hungry, felt sick when I ate, had little energy, had trouble focusing, my day wasn’t too bad. I didn’t feel super good overall, but it wasn’t a bad day. Just a challenge, though I felt my linguistics class (of all things) went the best of everything that day. : ) Got to get out of ASL really early, too! : D

Friday

I don’t want to talk about Friday. NOT a good day. Wish not to remember it. Too many stressful and icky things that happened. : (

Local Service Project

Today (Saturday,) as part of a requirement for Alternative Break, I had to go volunteer at a pre-set destination. This weekend it was the Boys & Girls Club in Salem. It was a lot of busy work, and with thirty students showing up, we were able to accomplish a LOT. It was fun, enjoyable, and often times relaxing to just work with my hands and work with other teams/students. MOST of my team was not there. I don’t have to do the other service project set for next weekend which is “required,” ‘cause I served this weekend AND I already have plans that I’m NOT, by any means, am about to change.

Sadly, as I was working, I ended up talking with one of the other trip leaders who is taking their group to California to a horse ranch/place. I kind of regret not signing up for that one, but for whatever reason, I chose Montana. Part of it was the location and part was the working with animals, but I was SOOOO torn between that one and the horse one. I told the leader, Shannon, which I had many years of horse experience and rode for at least eleven years. She was ‘ooo-ing’ and ‘awww-ing’ that I had so much horse knowledge and experience, yet didn’t sign up. I am sad now that I didn’t. : ( Not to mention that my group leaders have not been doing a great job at communicating nor being very responsible, seeing as they make last-minute changes/SHORT notice changes and expect people to move everything around that….not too happy with that. >: ( Not that happy, too, that I was already “forced” into a meeting that made me have an even MORE stressful day and not fun time. Grrrr…
Hoping things work out better. My team seems like a great group of people with good intentions and a great spirit; I just wish we had some better leadership. (No apologies, either, with informing changes with short notice…aaaaaannnd, they are very impatient. No more than 12 hrs passed between receiving an email and them calling following up to make sure that I reply, when, in fact, I hadn’t had a good chance to sit down and respond.)

Well, I think that is it for now. I’ll close and let you get back to whatever it is that you are doing that is far more important that reading this blog. : /

I don't know what to say quite often...

It's funny. When things happen, I think they are bad or funny or whatever, yet, when I think about writing it down later, it doesn't seem that funny or seem that surprising or whatever adjective I thought it was before. I think "Oh: this would be fun to share," but then I tend to forget, or I think that people wouldn't enjoy it. I guess, I have so many stories and things that happen, I don't know what to share, how much to share, or anything really. But, I've decided to try and start a blog, add to it once a day, or whenever something "happens" that I find remotely worthy of writing about, and then just adding that on to my blog. By the end of the week (or two) I'll have a little something to share, versus just random tid bits of not always clear info or events that are "old." I dunno how to explain it otherwise, but that is my goal to best keep people up to date most accurately on what I'm doing and what is going on in my world....the world I care to share.

I really do have too much to share and too little time often, so, theoretically, if I just share a little everyday, and then share all those little things at the end of a time frame, that would allow for "more."

Notes

So, since so much has happened, but yet not much has happened, I figured I'd write a couple comments/notes on life and life occurrences.

Work

Well, I'm "officially" at the grill and have fulfilled a few orders, though I am still not confident in what I'm doing, nor am I sure of how many fries go in a basket/large order of fries, or exactly how to make 'this' or 'such and the like.' But, it's a learning experience. I'm also learning, slowly, how to make sandwiches...those scare me the most, especially when there is a HUGE line of people. : / Not quite sure what to think. But.....I did learn - through another experience - that we use RICE oil to fry our food. I thought that was interesting.

Oh! And, this last Monday, with all the craziness, the person who hired me, she was there, and she and I were moving like mad to try and get all orders filled. I was SUPER nervous, as I wasn't sure what she would think of me and my "ability" to work and the like. But, that was a new experience...to say the least.

Volunteering

So, I find myself volunteering here and there for v

arious things. It's nice, but at the same time, it's one more thing. I wouldn't trade my experience thus far for anything. Recently, this last Wednesday, I helped out at the "Out of Sight" dinner for Disability Awareness Month, and though many attendees had bad attitudes at first, I

think MANY were changed, and many left with a different perspective. I was in charge of the vision imparment - no irony there - 'cause I was the only one who knows how to use a cane properly and effectively, AND can teach how to use it with students. The dinner, I felt, didn't go as well as last year, but it could have gone worse.

Alternative Break

So, speaking of volunteering, I was accepted into the Alternative Break program. Alternative Break (AB for short,) is an opportunity for students to spend a week of their holiday break doing a service project(s) with a designated organization - picked by the trip leaders. So, I applied again this year, and I was accepted for one of the spring trips; I am going to Montana to (I think this is what it is) work both with a homeless shelter-place and at a animal care place....something like that. All I know is that it is kind of like a "dual" service trip in that we aren't JUST going to work at a food bank, or JUST work at an after school program...

8 Surface Rule

So, a shout out to my aunt Carrie for teachingme the 8 surface rule when it comes to cleaning/dusting/etc. I have found that EXTREMELY helpful as I work....especially when I am (usually) the one stuck cleaning tables at the end of the day/shift. If ALL are dirty, and quite frequently it happens - since the deli people aren't really that responsible and hardly do it, except when Gary asks them - and there are [roughly] 48 tables to wash. To wash/clean: spray with degreaser and rub that on. THEN, get a different towel wet with bleach/sanitizer water and wipe down the table. Lots of work to do. Not complaining, just don't like being the "only" one to "always" have to do it. Oh well; such is life, I suppose.

Human Clue

Most recent "attraction." So, our house just recently did a live, HUMAN clue. It was fun, and we used several rooms in the house as the rooms in the actual game. We had ten suspects. There was a poster board with everyone's picture and info on it, and then the clues around gave a hint as to WHO done it, WHERE they done it, and HOW it was done. It was fun and there was food ranging form sushi (tasted good,) artichoke dip on...bread (of some kind,) candy corn, pistchio cookies (made by yours truly) and other hourdeurvs. We had a handful of trick or treat-ers and just had a relaxing evening overall hanging out, taking pics, etc. Some gals ended up playing the board game "Clue" and at 8pm (I think was the time) we all gathered to sit down and watch the Extreme Makeover Home edition, which was the airing of the OSD (Oregon School for the Deaf.) It was cool to see that actually come live after reading an article in the Statesman Journal and hearing stories and seeing pictures of those who could go.....It was a VERY relaxing and enjoyable evening. I am glad I had the opportunity to spend time with my gals! = )

Too much more is happening to go into too much detail and list everything - like I haven't even touched on the "Out of Sight Dinner," but know that I am SUPER busy and staying out of trouble. I am struggling with many things, as do many college students, but I am getting through them day by day and trying not to stress too much. Until I find some time, or enough short bits of time to accumulate enough of a message to post, take care and God bless!

50¢ Burgers

Yikes!

Yesterday at work, there was a special deal in which the first 300 people could purchase a burger, small fry, and a drink (12 oz.) for 50¢. Yikes! The line at times just seemed ENDLESS. What was worse was that the little ticket/stubs/etc. that the people had were supposed to be stapled to a copy of the receipt. Well.....the way that the machine works is that it prints the order, then one is supposed to print the receipt. When that is done, I can't just print another, but I have to manually go in and say "Re-print Receipt," then enter the order number, THEN press "clear" which then reprints another copy of the receipt. Ug. So...I had to do that for around 2o0+ orders. - We didn't actually serve the full 300 people, which was kind of nice. - But boy were we busy! The people at the grill were amazing! In fact, they were "faster" than us, i.e. they ended up making several "birthday specials" at once. Oh: sorry. "Birthday specials" was the 50¢ deal. The university center is covering the rest of the normal cost of what it would be; but since this week is celebrating the 50th anniversary of the building, it is a special they are doing. Back in the 1960s that combo of food cost 50¢. I personally don't know this 'cause I wasn't alive back then. How then do I know? Well, I wrote the article in the paper the previous week about the 50th Anniversary/Birthday celebration and all the festivities.

Needless to say, work was crazy busy. This last Saturday was like a full day of work for me as I finished my two articles and then tried to send them in with pictures to my editor. Grrrrr. Internet is STILL not working. : ( My house mum knows, and she keeps encouraging me to keep telling her every once in a while, but the guy/technician KNOWS things are wrong and he is working on it, but I guess as of late, he doesn't know WHAT is wrong, per se. Rather, he just knows something is wrong. For whatever reason, the newer part of the house is having trouble receiving the signal or something. I don't know. But now my computer can't pick up the signal and keep it. It used to not be an issue; I was always able to pick up some network, but now: (just about) nothing! : /

So.....fighting with the sparatic internet was interesting to try and send in my articles that were due Fri. night/Sat. afternoon-ish. Goodness. That took ALL day. Plus, I still had to get one more interview in from one of my girls, since one of the articles was based on the pumpkin patch experience we had last week Wed. But....I got it done.

Sadly, Sat. took up so much time, that I didn't get the chance to really work on my linguistics homework. So, I did most of it Sunday. Sadly, I got stuck, so I asked a roommie who took it last year and she was able to help on one or two pretty easily, but the last "task" was HARD. Anyone who might be reading this good at linguistics? Phones, phonemes, allophones, allomorphs, morphemes, morphs, complimentary distribution, free variation......any of that ring a bell? I knew linguistics would be hard, but I didn't realize how hard. I thought it might be a bit easier since I've already taken a class in linguistics (back when I was taking Spanish and....yeah, had that "interesting" experience) and the first two weeks were good. I felt confident and things felt fine, as if it wasn't so bad. Then it took a turn for the worse and became super challenging. Hmmmm....anywho. Will review more a little later this morning and hopefully something will click; if not, I'm just going to have to give it the "ol' college try." - Quite literally.

This week will prove to be oober busy as it not only is midterms - which I'm scared for my linguistics midterm Thur. morning - but I also have something going on every night. Tonight I work and then might possibly call someone in regards to a possible article topic, Wed. is the "Out of Sight" dinner as part of the Disability Awareness Month activities, Thurs. I have a "party" I'll hang out at for a bit and then go to ASL Club - I missed it last week due to a commitment I had made about two weeks ago, but forgot at the time that I had ASL Club, but what I did - which I can't really say directly [I'm sworn to secrecy...unwritten] - I don't regret and I enjoyed myself. But, it'll be nice to get back into the swing of things and get back to signing again. In any case, then Fri. (I think it is,) there is a Clue party/Halloween celebration at my house, Sat. brings the cider press activity with the youth and college aged groups through my church, and then Sun. night yields the harvest party in which the youth of the church can enjoy games, activities, etc. which includes the cider we press the night before! It'll be a crazy-insane week, but it is filled with so many fun activities and really cool things, I just don't want to miss them all, especially with all of the fellowship and support.....I'm starting to kind of see why I am here in Monmouth. As much as I may not like how I am limited, everyone seems to be behind me 100% and supportive. Everyone listens to me, believes me, sympathize/empathizes with me, and it is a TON more supportive than I think I could find elsewhere right now. Everything seems to be "right" - as much of a struggle life may seem - and I am so much happier here around the people that care most about me, and being around the positive environment that will best help me get where I need to go. Where that is? I dunno. But I'll try my best to enjoy my journey there. In the meantime, I'll do what I can and enjoy what opportunities come my way.

Well, off to another day. Class, break, work, girl's night "Bible study"/girl's night of support/encouragement/break from life/etc. Can't wait for tonight. Hopefully in class today I'll be able to ask questions and get things cleared up to where I feel comfortable enough and ready for the test.

Time Slips On By Sometimes Leaving Me Behind

So, I need to make this quick so I can get some sleep before volunteering tomorrow.

Wow! What a time I've had recently. Already the end of week four; midterms are next week and I don't feel ready for my linguistics class, but I'll study and do my best. My ASL class I'm not too worried about; I've already done all of the VLOGS (Video Blogs) for class so far. And, our teacher hasn't said anything really about a "midterm" (i.e. hasn't made a big deal about it. We namely do discussions and take weekly quizzes to make sure we are attending and understanding.) I feel more comfortable with signing now, but know that I'm still not that skilled.

Yesterday, six of us girls made a trip on down to the pumpkin patch...which one? We didn't know. We all crammed into one car - which we didn't know there was only one car - and started driving to....nowhere really, since we didn't have a plan, I guess. But we found one and spent about an hour there...or so. We all got pumpkins and plan to carve them as a group. Those who couldn't make it this week are planning on going next week; I'll probably go again. I have kind of become the photographer for house events like this. : S Well, if everyone enjoys it, might as well, right? (At the end, I've attached some pictures.)

Work this week was HORRIBLE. Monday I was batting a thousand, doing everything wrong. Not to mention that they put me AT/on the grill, and I had NO idea how to make it, and they were trying to teach me (verbally) how to do things, and I wasn't that successful. : (

THEN....Tuesday, when I went to go close, NOBODY was there. So, I tried my best to do the compost, recycling, wiping the counters, doing as many of the dishes as I could and so on and so forth. I hadn't been shown how to do the salad bar, so I couldn't have done that - not to mention I found out the next morning that the produce hadn't come in. Speaking of the next morning, I got chewed out by a supervisor-personnel. She said that she wasn't chewing me out, but everything she was saying, how she said it, and so on and so forth was telling me opposite. She was accusing me of things I had no idea happened/didn't happen, was saying I didn't do anything (in less direct words,) and was just negative, negative, negative. : ( I almost cried, but I was able to hold it in. I felt AWFUL and it was so HARD to shake it off and do work for the next hour or so. But, yeah, I knew she was upset with me and blaming me. But there are people who come in after me and are supposed to clean up and "truly" close the kitchen. I just help. And, as I'm being chewed out, praise God there was another gal there who was trying to defend me - I tried, but this supervisor wasn't listening nor believing me - and was so supportive of me and my cause. Then, after I am blamed and condemned (I'm sure she wanted to fire me then and there,) THEN I'm told these little "secrets"/"helpful hints" about how they want me to run/do things when I close. Oh! AAAAAAANNNNNDDD I was condemned for being "slow." - I was hardly ever still for the whole time I was there; granted, I wasn't running around, but I was always moving, looking for something to do and clean, etc. So my batting average sank lower. I just hope tomorrow isn't bad. I've had a bad week already, I don't want to end it poorly.

But......though I can't say what exactly it was I did, I have had two positive nighttime experiences (last night and tonight) that have lifted my spirit and have encouraged me. Tomorrow will be the third and final night for some time, but that's okay. It'll help me get through this week. All I can say is that this week is homecoming here at WOU, and I've helped out some with that.

Oh! I am also back on with the Western Journal, the school paper, and am writing (on average) two articles a week! Whooo! I'm excited about this next week's articles. Both are based on personal experience and one is purely...opinon/my choice topic based. The other is specific, but because of the topic, I can write it based off of what I have experienced, although I need to interview some of my girls here before the weekend. Eeeek! I forgot about that. : S So, I'll try to do that after work. I'll need to do a bit of research - if I can find the info I'm looking for - and then just sit down and write both articles. I've started one and have an idea of how I wish to start the other. But we'll see. The most o

opinionated one I'm struggling with to find the words I want to say/express myself. I'm hoping it will turn out right. Every time I want to say it - like when I'm showering and thinking out loud - the BEST ideas come to me, but I never remember them long enough to write them down or I can't remember everything; thus, each consecutive try thereafter is worse. : ( *sigh* Oh well.

I think that is it for now. I think that is enough to catch up on me - more or less. Hope I didn't bore you too much. ; ) Hope all is well with whomever is reading this. May life bring you many blessings and good health. Take care & God bless!

Time Keeps On Moving On

Well, since a few people are actually reading this - and yes I am truly surprised - I will try to pop up a blog or two once in a while, though I am thinking about starting a blog about my work. (Ha ha ha ha ha.) Some REALLY interesting things have already started happening, so...we'll see how things play out. : )

Life has been SUPER busy-crazy since camp has finished. Camp ending was much harder for me than I anticipated. I never really expected to connect with anyone, since last summer I didn't really have a great & enjoyable one...it ended rather roughly, leaving me hurt and with many scars. Though I am not super close with anyone, and I never expected to be nor do I ever expect it to happen - the staff their have a bond that I could never join or be a part of, but I am okay with that - but I did come out with a few GOOD friends; some really sweet, genuine people. I miss them tons but know that they are in good hands...the BEST hands. : )

Almost as soon as summer "ended," I was on the go to get ready, try to purge, pack up boxes, bags, beds, and whatever else and head to Mo-town - Monmouth, actually; we college students just sometimes say. So I began the long, stressful process of moving out west, and then slowly unpacking. As of this last weekend, I was (more or less) completely unpacked. Yeah I still have about five archive boxes of stuff in boxes, but I'm pretty much out here to stay until God leads me elsewhere to my new adventure, although I have a feeling I'll be out here two years - enough time to give me to take my GRE, find a grad school/program I want to study, and just get a better feel for where I want to find myself.

Needless to say, I've been one busy chica. I also spent most of one day walking around to Monmouth & Independence places to submit resumes & applications in hopes to find part-time work. Well, I happened to be home one weekend - for something I forget - and I received a call from campus dining requesting an interview. That following Monday, I go in for an interview and lo & behold: I am hired! Though it isn't HEAPS of money, it still is better than nothing. Because it is an on-campus job - which is a HUGE blessing - I cannot work more than 20 hrs/wk. Which, I'll probably end up getting close to with all of what has happened thus far, and what will probably continue. Training last week (New Student Week) was hard and challenging, but I made it through and then hit the ground running this week. It's pretty much sink or swim from here on out, and so far...I'd say I've been treading water to keep my head afloat. But God is good and things will become easier the more I do things and become familiar with menus and what goes with what. I'm going to try and start a blog with all my adventures based on how Monday (this week) happened for me. Now I can laugh about it, but back then in the heat of the fire, it was NOT funny. : (

Anyways...I think that is the best overview, quick 10 min blurb-ish on me & my life and what is relatively new. Now knowing that there are a few people reading, I'll try to post a little more frequently, even if it is a "Hey! Funny story: ............."

Take care and God bless to those who are reading. It's a late night due to many things - some of which include a prolonged nap, unplanned, a house meeting, and other things I needed to finish up online. Rest well when you get there.

Weeks and Weeks On End

Life gets busy. Do things with family. Fulfill already established commitments...Time just flies.

Not too excited to write. I like not having an obligation to write, and if I want to write and share, I will, but if not, no worries. I've long been overdue for my "5 Sentences a Day" thing.....which drove me crazy - but the once a week is more manageable. Though, I've just been going, going, going.

Last weekend I went back to Monmouth, to Western, for the Silent Weekend. This was an opportunity for me to brush up on my signing skills, attend cultural workshops about ASL/Deaf Culture, and so on. I had the opportunity to see a handful of people I knew and I was "Hard of Hearing" for the entire weekend I was there. I wore earplugs (on my own accord) to simulate - somewhat - what it's like to live with some degree of hearing loss. The only times I took them out was at night when I had to go to sleep. I have many fun and happy memories from this weekend, though I had a really HARD time adjusting and transitioning back into the hearing world. Still, a week later, I feel kind of awkward - finding myself thinking about how I would describe in sign or how would I communicate this to a Deaf individual, or......

Haven't been doing much other than working, working out, and whatever else comes up. I've had the opportunity to go see several movies lately among which include: Inception, Salt, Charlie St. Cloud, and Sorcerer's Apprentice. I've seen more than that, but those are the most recent ones I remember.

Summer is slowly coming to a close, as will I with this blog, since nobody is commenting, following or reading. Unless I can be convinced otherwise, I'm going to quit blogging. My life has nothing interesting to blog about, and I don't really enjoy it, since I am feeling obligated and semi-forced to write....which I don't like and makes me less inclined to write.

Anywho....not much else has really happened. I sprained my wrist (or so we think) and it still hurts. I somehow or another keep bending it the wrong way, using it, over-using it, and everything else similar to these things. I'll heal, but it feels as if it won't heal or that it'll take "forever" to heal. I'm still working - which probably isn't the best thing for it, but oh well - and life is kind of just in the doldrums for me.

I could say more, but some things are better left unsaid, or, at least, some things should not be shared online....many of the feelings I'm feeling now go very deep into the core of me, touching some VERY sensitive areas in my life that have been scared and wounded by those most "near and dear" to me. It will take quite some time for them to heal, since they are in the most sensitive and vulnerable areas of my heart, and the wounds are VERY deep and were caused by those I thought would never hurt me in that area, but in fact ended up hurting me there....

Worst part is: they don't know fully, and they don't care, at least, from what I've expressed to them. They seem to think they are fully justified in their actions and everything they caused me is not a problem and.......I'm going to stop there. I'm just going to start ranting and whatnot.

And so I close.

A Week - or rather, two - More of Summer Gone

Well, last week at work was alright. It wasn't amazing, but it wasn't horrible.

Good Points: (about last week)

a.) Signing: I got to visit the only Deaf individual that lives in Silverton (a 10-yr old boy). That was nice...though I have some "issues" and things that bother me....I'm learning from my experience there.

Also, I got to go to the Deaf chat at Border's in Salem, and that was a challenge. The f/s (fingerspelling) was what killed me. Overall, I felt I understood alright and was able to communicate my ideas somewhat clearly.....we'll see how class treats me this fall. Hmmm....

b.) Fishy, fishy, fishy: I had the opportunity to go fishing with my mum this last Saturday. I caught the same fish twice....well, it looked identical in every way. The third one I caught looked significantly different. My mum caught one or two....dumb fish. But, thems tasty worms! I didn't eat any, but the fish thought they were. One time, my worm made it's way all the way up the line - past the place where you hook/clip on your hook - and up to where the weights are....can't figure that one out, but it was a relaxing and enjoyable time.

c.) I'm sure I was originally going to put a third point here, but I cannot remember - from the time I first drafted until now, I've slept.

For this week - since it's almost over - camp was not good. I'm about ready to "quit" since the campers DON'T listen. They almost do the opposite of what I and the other counselor says. We are now threatening (in just about every way) the campers that they will not ride if (dot, dot, dot). It has been a trying week. Hopefully next week will get better. Yeah for only ONE activity tomorrow! Whooooo!

This weekend? Looking for a book and plan to organize boxes. Also am hoping to finish a DVD project. Just need to adjust a few things, then: presto! It'll be done and over, and I can send it out to my trip advisor and two faculty support staff. : )

That's it for now. Nothing too interesting, nor anything to really write home about. Had the chance to give an opportunity to do a special pony ride for some family friends, and they spent about two hours or so with and around the horses....that was a great experience I am happy I had the opportunity to do this.

Another Week of Summer

So...day camp is going well. Not to complain, but I got REALLY bored after the first day. Why? Instead of two groups with about 8 campers each, the groups averaged 5-6 campers....and there was only ONE group per activity. Even though the other counselor and I lead the campers on the longest walks we could, there still was a LOT of time left before the next activity (large group.) SO......I lead some horse science. That was rather entertaining asking "Okay, what is this part?" - pointing to a part on the horse's body or on the saddle. Obviously they didn't know most, so I hinted.

"Okay, not three, but..."

"Four!!!" They'd respond, enthusiastically.

"Okay, and if I want to keep something safe, I do what? I ____ it up."

"Lock!!!"

"Yeah...so it's a...."

"FORELOCK!!!" By then, they'd usually half-yell. But they were having fun and doing this did kill quite a bit of time. Though, a rather entertaining thing happened. The first time I was trying to get them to say the word 'barrel' - referring to the middle section of the horse, from it's shoulder to it's hip, that whole section, but not the side - the only thing that came to mind was a song. So I started to sing, "Roll out the _____" and a little boy, about age seven maybe, with a straight face said "Barrel." The other counselors and I were doubling over with laughter, surprised that this little boy knew the end to that line. Most clues I had to give on a phonetic base, but I think they enjoyed guessing, although when I was trying to get them to guess 'mantle,' and was giving a definition, hinting it started with 'm' someone guessed "marshmallow," I don't know how they got that...oh well. Needless to say, the other pony ride leader and myself found ways to entertain ourselves.

I have been thinking lately, though, about how in the past, we (the camp) have had a few Deaf campers come, and, for some strange reason, I am hoping and praying there might be a group that has a few. I am DYING to sign again, and it will be a challenging and good experience for me to sign with the camper and to lead the horse and such. I wish I could become more involved within the Deaf community, but I'm afraid that for now, that won't happen. :o( I'm sad I don't have nearly as much exposure as I would like - and for now, I'm not asking much, but I doubt it will happen. Even going once a week to some event or something...but I think my work schedule will prevent me - AGAIN - from doing that which I love most. *DEEP sigh* Such is life; I guess that means I'll have to fight harder for it....hoping I can find a job to earn enough to save for a car and then insurance - thus allowing me more freedom to do things within the Deaf community. : D

Not too much happened other than work. Some appointments here and there, eating meals, working out....etc. the "usual" for me, the rather mundane and boring part of my life, really. Yesterday, I got connected to high speed (since parents have dial-up; and yes: it's stinks, but it's better than NO internet and needing to drive into town - we won't touch on that topic...- to use it) to do some updates on my computer and my old computer/my parents' "new" computer. I was NOT a happy camper at the end of the night. Their "new" computer took FOREVER to download, then when it was "done," there was an error loading one of the software updates, which made me upset. THEN it had to restart, and when I finally got the connection back up (since, I guess, it disconnects from the internet when one restarts the computer,) I did another software update, and one of them from the previous time DIDN'T update, and there was one MORE that didn't show up from the original list of four. So....basically, there were four programs that needed updating, two updated (one failed causing the other to fail, I think,) and then during the recheck, there was another that appeared. Grrrrrrrr!!!!!! I was NOT happy. Didn't help that I was tired, hot, hungry, and just didn't have the smoothest day, although I DID get a massage. : ) But, I was able to accomplish about 90% or so (maybe more) of everything I wanted and needed to do on my compu, aside from a Microsoft Office update.

This week: plan to finish the last few thank-you cards from graduation, burn my AB (Alternative Break) DVD and send copies off to trip advisers - making a copy for myself, of coarse.....I always keep a copy of each DVD project I make - and clear my bedroom floor, going through 5 boxes (the goal) of things, passing on about half (or recycling, redistributing to the correct home, etc) of my things or more.

I think that is it for now. Hope you all (whomever might even be reading this) are doing well and staying out of the heat. I can't, but I'm doing my best to stay hydrated - by drinking (on average) about 6 glasses (8oz.) of water each time I go to work - usually in the mornings. Though, I've recently discovered, through medical inquisition....that sounds bad.....inquiry, that I am drinking enough water, but I am inadvertently flushing out electrolytes; meaning: I need to get more electrolytes in me, i.e. drinking a "special" concoction of 'Emergen-C,' though I just got the store brand, since it's exactly the same (I looked on the labels and the first ten things or so I checked were 99.9% the same - I think one had 5.5 mg while the other had 6 mg...ooooo! big difference [said sarcastically].) Not only is it the same, but it's half the price.

But anywho, I will continue to down my water in the sweltering heat or whatever other warm, humid, hot, uncomfortable to be outside in jeans, boots, button-up, and cowboy hat walking around for a few hours, taking care of horses and helping lead activities. My pedometer doesn't work the best, but a rough estimate is that I walk - again, on average - over five miles everyday (Mon.-Fri.) and take roughly 11,000 steps. But, I must remind you, that this is "trail walking," or, walking that is NOT on a flat surface/cement/road/etc. There is some "flat" stretches, but even then it isn't too terribly flat. There is gravel road, dusty stretches leading to uneven ground, off-trail kind of walking in grass and other "nature" aspects....I think that is the best way to describe the terrain that I walk/work around. Needless to say, I walk around a lot and am responsible for other (minor) labour-intensive duties.

Take care all. Closing for this [past] week, and for the day. Have chapel in a few hours, so hopefully I can get some things done before then.

Nothing Interesting

Ya know....nobody is actually reading this...so I'm just going to do it once a week.....if that.

My life is REALLY not that interesting. It is [relatively] routine and about nothing changes from day to day. I think a weekly update would be best. Besides, I'm not having fun doing this. It's tedious, and I have to worry about doing it EVERY day and some days there just isn't worth writing or anything. It doesn't help when I don't have energy. : ( But such is life.

Today's recap: chiropractic appointment in the morning, work out, to Salem to exchange my phone - which accumulated problems as time went on - went to grocery store for food (for me, since my diet is SO different than that of my parents,) came home, filled out post-back application, packaged my friend's gift, ate some dinner, watched a bit of a movie on t.v. before going down to camp where there is high-speed internet and I can actually stay sane on my computer while online......and here I am now. Trying to download my 15 Miles West Videos to YouTube, 'cause I ran out of time moving back home from Monmouth from en of spring term.

That's all she wrote folks.

Sunny: WIth A Chane of Liquid Sunshine - Oregon Suns

Today was okay. Went to work this afternoon. Had some trouble with the ponies. We'll see how it goes next week, and if there is more problems like there were today, then we might need to get someone else there to observe - at least once - and possibly bring a dressage whip for.....motivation. Something like that.

Started to rain late afternoon/early evening. Still raining.....from what I hear outside. Curious to know what will tomorrow will bring. Only plan to go to the chiropractor for an adjustment, work out, get my phone replaced, and then work on things here at home. :/ Fun, right?

That's about my day. And I'll close.

Working Pedometer

So...as it turns out, yesterday, my pedometer only read about 2,100 steps for a FULL day of work. FULL day mind you. I know this is not correct. Thus, I tried again this morning, but to no avail. It read 0. I DEFINITELY knew there was a problem, i.e. my pedometer was broken/nonfunctional/not working/*insert your choice of words*. Time passes and during my "break" in between activities, I kind of pulled it away from the casing and looked at the back....the equivalent to the "motherboard"/hard drive of a computer. Came to find that the little mechanism that moves up and down - hitting the sensor that tracks the steps - was stuck. So, somehow, without knowing it, I un-stuck it and it worked.....started working.

Other than work, which went pretty good, and after work was done, I worked out - as usual - after a lunch (spacing it out as one should) and then I just did whatever until dinner - which was late. Part of my afternoon activities, sadly, was starting to go through my room....all of my stuff. It is rather depressing, and I got really discouraged - still am - but I know I just need to get rid of just about everything.... :/ Wasn't fun, won't be fun, but is such a necessity.

Two Days

So....my mum and I saw "Karate Kid" yesterday…subtitles were AWFUL! They were a transparent white that one could barely see. I missed half of them because they were white on white background. The musical notes and "(music playing)" where in a solid yellow, as well as other unimportant notes. Why is it that the least important parts of the movie were the easiest captions to see? I hope not ALL captioned films are like this. I had quite the awful experience and hope that the next film I see is nothing like this one. I feel sorry for Deaf people if this is the only stuff that people see/the "best" that OC gets.....it's more of a challenge for Deaf people to see. *insert sad face here*

But anywho, yesterday started week two of summer. Already it has been interesting – again. Today, a gal fell off one of the horses, getting off. I had to catch at least one other person. It is AMAZING how many times in a row one must say something in order for kids to remember. Kids just DON'T listen. Grumble, grumble, grumble. I want them to be safe. I want them to have fun. But that can't happen if they don't listen and - knowingly or unknowingly - do things that are not safe.

Today, I had work in the morning, a massage appointment thereafter, and then a chiro appt following that. I then worked out, came home to settle some "affairs" and topped the day with dinner - I didn't get a lunch, and only had a minimal amount of a morning tea. Yesterday was as busy, I'm sure....I just don't remember. My days, starting since spring term, have just blend together. I don't know what I did when. My sense of time is going out the window.

Well, think that is about all the "excitement" for now. Things will happen, and I'll try to write them down, but no promises. We'll see where tomorrow takes me. I have a list of things to do, none of which are getting done fast, and this saddens me most. But, we'll see what happens. Hopefully things will work out for the best. Although, I must say, that one of the support counselors today made me laugh so hard I was tearing up, doubling over with laughter, and I couldn't breathe.....ah. Thanks Audrey. Smile.

Sore, sore, sore

I am in pain from being so sore from working yesterday. I hurt to move and I think I hurt almost everywhere but my lower back - where I formerly had some discomfort from past activity. But, I'm taking Ibuprofen and that seems to help some, but not even 800mg can seem to cease the pain. Tried sitting on some ice for my quads, and that just numbed them for a short spell...hands hurt pretty bad from supporting my weight, but there is nothing a good paraffin wax bath won't do to fix/help with that.

We have royal family camp this week, so that means I need to wear a name card with my name and picture. Will be an interesting week - hopefully non campers will fall off the horse and me have to catch them. But it should be a nice sunny week, again. We'll see where it takes me. Theoretically, I get to see an OC film on Monday. Yesterday didn't happen 'cause I decided I wanted to earn a little extra money - soon to be deposited into savings. As much I would have liked to go watch it on a weekend, life happens and we don't always get what we want. But at least I'll get to see it, right? Well, the plan is that I'll work in the morning, and then my mum and I will go to the movie for the evening showing, since the morning showing is when I work. I'm only sorry I don't have a vehicle to drive myself to places such as the movies or the store...would allow for more flexibility, but I'll take what I can get, even if it's not exactly how I would like.

Anywho, need to jet to get something to eat since I have chapel - Sunday night Bible study for staff before the week starts - and though I normally eat between 6:00pm and 7:00pm - on a good day - I need to eat a bit earlier so I won't be late going down (w/my dad.)

Chau.

First Week of Sumner Work Is Over

So, camp ended yesterday, and today I was going to go see an OC (Open Caption) movie with my mum, but I was given a work opportunity and worked for several hours today to earn a little extra cash. It was rather hot, since most of it was in the sun. I wouldn't doubt if I had a bit of a burn, though I'm not feeling it and my skin doesn't seem red at all. I did some yard work, which included moving rocks, pulling weeds, and removing rubbish from the rocks. Nothing too interesting, but fairly hard work, and a bit grueling. My back is feeling it now, but I'll be okay. Just need to take it easy tonight and tomorrow.

Other than that, not much has happened today. Nothing interesting.

Today – Nothing Interesting

Well, it wasn't a blistering 80º or however hot it was yesterday, but it was quite humid. Heat I don't mind as much as humidity, but those poor ponies...with saddles and kids getting on and off, and moving around in the heat of the day....

Okay so I don't feel too sorry for them, but still feel a wee bit bad considering weather conditions.

Speaking of horses: due to request of a certain individual - names to remain unspoken - I will divulge a little about my driving experience. Not car driving, but horse driving. That's right: I am learning how to harness, hook up, and drive a horse pulling a wagon - 15 passenger I believe. It's been fun, and yesterday, we - "we" being us at the ranch/barn - harnessed up and hooked to the wagon our draft (mix) Brooke to the wagon. It was a little easier the second time around. We then drove down to the ranch (not far away,) turned around, and picked up the kids.

As we were making our way down to day camp (opposite end of the canyon) to drop off the campers to do the zip line, Ren handed me the reins and said "Here: you drive." So, I took the reins and drove. I've discovered how soft of a voice I have when it comes to horse cues.

So, with two trips down and back for the zip line, we then headed to main camp to give the overnight campers a ride around. Two groups for this session as well. I drove quite a bit and it was good experience. Sadly, I doubt it will happen again, for, I found out earlier today as I was kicking out the ponies - that's horsey term for put them out to pasture - I was informed that the wagon rides will now be done in the mornings....all of the days I will be doing pony rides down at the day camp.

Alas....my days of driving are all but at an end. Woe is me.....Not really. I'll be alright. I'm sure there will be another time or two that I might get to drive. If not, hay: at least I had the opportunity now and the chance not many get...though I doubt it will do anything for my resume.

Back to today....finished a DVD project for a friend, and am a few transitions - literally - away from another DVD project from my Alternative Break experience from back in December. Will burn the AB DVD and send copies to my trip advisers back in Monmouth. Hope they like it/like what I have. Am sad I didn't take more video, but I'll be okay.

Me thinks that is about it for today. Today wasn't that exciting, considering no campers almost bit the dust dismounting - getting off of a horse - though I am actually very happy, since that means no injury and the like. Weather was what it was, and I didn't have to be at work, not until early afternoon, allowing for a chiro appt and time to workout in the morning.

Still am a bit sore and very tired and exhausted after work, even on my "light" days, but it's good for me and I'm racking up quite the steps...though I forgot my pedometer today, so I don't know how far I walked, but am estimating an easy 5000 steps.

*** Remember: I only am counting steps related to going to work, time at work, and coming home from work.

Note: I walk to work for those who may not know. It's a pathway down into a canyon that takes me no more than 10 minutes to walk to where I need to be to prep the ponies, then it's about another 10 minute walk to the corral at the day camp, since the ponies are so slow - for whatever reason.

Closing for the night.

11720.......16965

Steps.
That's right: steps I took today related to work.
The first number is regarding day camp (morning) and then the second number is adding on evening activities. (Subtract them and you'll find the amount for just the evening.)

Today will be a MUCH shorter blog.

Today, at work, I had at least two campers almost totally fall off the horse as they were getting off. No wonder: they didn’t listen to what I was saying. That’s why we try to emphasize to LISTEN to the instructors at the beginning of the activity.

Anywho, earlier this afternoon, I got to help harness and hook up to the wagon out (camp’s) draft horse. Heck, Ren – the horsemanship director – tossed me the reins today as we were taking the kids down to the zip line. I drove quite a bit today. *big grin*

Today, I was inspired:

You know you are a horse person when:
– you reach in your back pocket to pull out the bailing twine and find a hoof pick (true story)
– the smell of horse is one of your favorites, if not your favorite, and you soak in the smell after a short leave of absence
- you use horse terms without even noticing it until someone asks “What’s that?”/”What does that mean?”


That’s it for today folks.

Here's a quote I found to be rather challenging, very TRUE, and something to think about.
Something to chew on:
"Christianity, in its purest for, is nothing more than seeing Jesus.
Christian service, in its purest form, is nothing more than imitating him who we see."
– Max Lucado, "You: God's Brand New Idea"

Wednesday, 23 June 2010

There are those that wish me to blog about my life….or what’s left of it. My guess? About 60-70 years….or so I hope. Though, I don’t plan to blog that long necessarily. Anywho, it was strongly suggested that I just blog a little “everyday.” It may be daily, it may be every few days...depends on how I feel. I have tons of other things to do...but as Aunt Carrie says "Five sentences..." well, today, you all (if anyone is even reading this) get about five paragraphs.

To start off, as many/all may know, I graduated from Western Oregon University 12 June 2010 with my B.A. in Spanish with a Communication Studies Minor. Though many don’t know – and I personally feel – don’t understand that Spanish is not the avenue that I wish to persue, nor is it something that I ever had a passion for; an interest: yes. A passion: no. Before I took ASL (American Sign Language) classes – starting my junior year – I did have an interest in Spanish. I never really did know what to do/what I wanted to do with it, but I just decided to major in it and just go with it since, at the time, that was the only thing I was “good” at and the only language I had studied at the time, since my H.S. only had Spanish coursework. It’s hard for people to think that I have a passion different than that of what people thought I had a passion for before. But in truth: I never had a passion, just an interest. I’m sure that if I had the opportunity to take ASL classes back in H.S., my major would be different. I know this is something I'm passionate about 'cause other people notice it, too. I have had a good handful of people already comment....if that isn't enough to say that it's not just another thing I'm "interested" in, then I don't know what is.

So, I’m finding myself back at home for the summer until I move back to Monmouth in September, where I plan to work part-time (more than just a few hours a week,) and go back to school part-time to take more ASL classes to keep up on my skill, have more access to the Deaf community, and I feel I will be much happier where I will have more access to people who are fighting with me for me to become more independent and helping me gain more freedom for myself. I have my license, but that hasn’t proven to give me as much opportunity or freedom as I had hoped, though it is a step in the right direction and allows me for more opportunity to do something I enjoy and will help give me a better idea of which direction I wish to take for my future career.

Anywho….off of me ranting and being as raw and brutaltally honest as I can without offending anyone or pointing fingers, etc. I’ll give a brief update about today up until now since it’s getting late and I should get back to bed in order to be well-rested for tomorrow.

Today was day three of work. Better than day one (by FAR) and better than yesterday. The weather is improving, though that means I need to keep an eye on the horses more. Oh: let me back up. I am the pony ride leader for the day camp at Canyonview Camp. I am in charge of bringing the horses down – i.e. preparing them by grooming and saddling – and then leading them down to turn them out in the corrale. I have to now monitor their water bucket, which I set up today, and have to be sure I always have at least ¾ a bucket of water ready to refill. I find this easier than continually hiking to the creek, although I had to do it thrice my first time setting up my “watering system.”

In any case, I help the campers get on the horse, lead them around, do a little trotting if they feel comfortable and then rotate through the group. Today, I clocked my steps with a pedometer….and today was weird/unusually/not a “normal” day, but then again, no day this week has been “normal.” But I walked over 9000 steps I belive – if memory serves me correct. And that was only about half of the day. I didn’t even clock the rest, but I do remember I walked over 4.6 miles (I think it was 4.667 miles.)

Anyways, it will be interesting to see how far I walk from home to work, around work, and back home again. Not quite sure what to look forward to anymore since things seem to change at the drop of a pin, or a dime, or whatever small, metal object people tend to drop. But, I’ll close for now. I could write more on stories about work or my true frustrations on life and home and what I do or don’t like about what is going on….but that would probably leave me….let’s just say in a world of hurt. It’s hard when one wants to truly express how they feel but can’t bcause they are afraid of what….powers that be will do/say and the consequences of one’s true expression. I really can’t feel I can be as honest as I would like now that I’m home. I feel a bit afraid at times to say something, for it will spread quicker than wildfire to just about everyone, and then things tend to go downhill in that there is more tension that builds. I am afraid to say how I feel for fear of punishment, anger, blame, and other negative feelings directed at me. And I can’t do anything about it because I’m given this label as “kid” as “child” to keep me “in my place,” to keep me from gaining that independence….to be controlled. Hence: I need to move out. As HORRIBLE of an economy as it is, and as much as I will struggle and maybe not even make it, I need to try, or I will be so miserable and unhappy until….well, until whenever I can break through that bondage of limitation I feel so much when I’m away from that group of support I found in Monmouth.

That’s all for now.